Let me guess – you’re a strong, independent man or woman who knows all there is to know about slots! Whether they’re physical one-armed bandits or online slots, there’s not a thing about them that you don’t know! After all, slots aren’t exactly rocket science, right? You pull the lever, you line up the symbols, you lose all your money, try again! And besides, they’re all the same anyway – once you know one, you know all of them! Bah, why are we even talking about this, anyway? Slots are literally the most boring casino activity ever! We should talk about blackjack, or roulette, or that cute croupier’s behind! Don’t worry, my dear, two of these topics will be touched upon here in the very near future, but for now, I’ve got some news for you, and I’m going to deliver them in the form of a song accompanied by the great Weird Al Yankovic – EVERYTHING YOU KNOW IS WRONG! Believe it or not, chances are that many of the things you think you know about slots are a bigger myth than the Moon landing hoax! And we’re talking some pretty major things, like…
1. Mechanical Slots Are Rarer Than Ever
When most people hear the word slot, they imagine those big, bulky machines with spinning reels attached to them. You pull the lever, watch the reels spin and then maybe you get your quarter back or whatever the kids use these days. Well, the thing is… Those are A) not really known as slots, and B) exceptionally rare. Mechanical slots with physical reels that spin are known as fruit machines (a nice homage to the history of slots, which we should totally discuss sometime because it’s awesome), and they’re outnumbered by slots pretty much 10 to 1 in most casinos, if they’re even available. It’s typically bars and other smaller places which have fruit machines, because they’re often cheaper to buy than slots. Slots, on the other hand, are entirely digital – you see the reels on a screen, all the calculations are done by a computer, and in most cases there’s not even a lever! And that’s not all!
2. Online Slots Are More Popular Than Physical Ones
In physical casinos, slots are mostly there for decoration. I mean, sure, there’s quite a lot of people who put every cent they have into the one-armed bandits, but they’re the exception rather than the rule. Most profits in physical casinos come from high rollers playing blackjack, or from taxes on poker games. Slots are mostly there because they’re flashy, a casino staple and, most importantly, can serve as a gateway drug to more serious gambling. Imagine this scenario – you and your friends decide to go to a casino one evening and have some fun. You have little intention of playing, but decide to play some slots so that you don’t look out of place in front of your friends. A decent win will most likely motivate you to join the big leagues of blackjack and roulette, ultimately leaving with less money than you had before despite the fact that you won. And a big win at slots is very probable, because…
3. Slots Are Surprisingly Generous
Now, I’m not talking about all slots here – some, both physical and online, have pretty low return-to-player percentages and generally like to keep a lot of the money invested into them. But the majority tend to be fairly generous with their winnings and jackpots. A good slot designer understands that if the player doesn’t win, then they’re not going to play, and if they don’t play they’re not going to pay. So if you play for long enough, chances are that eventually you’ll end up with more money than you started with. Jackpots, bonuses and mini-games are all various ways of increasing and multiplying your money, and while they’re far from guaranteed (in theory you could play forever and always lose, if your luck is bad enough), they’re rather likely.